Let’s talk about FEAR.
Fear can vary from being very surface level to being very deep-seated in your subconscious- so deep that you might not even be aware that you have this fear. Yeah- THAT DEEP.
I had a fear of driving, that fear for a LONG time felt comfortable because in high school I would go places with my family, or my boyfriend would drive me around wherever I needed to go.
Once I left for college, this fear became SO uncomfortable because I was constantly having to ask other people for rides, taking the crowded bus and nearly missing it every time, and walking for miles carrying my groceries – a true workout.
I was FED up with my fear. So at age 20 I finally decided I was going to learn how to drive, so I learned and cried right before my driver’s test but I did it!
2 months after getting my license, and never being in the car alone by myself, my boyfriend and I decided to meet halfway on a weekend. We each drove 3.5 hours to see each other.
It’s my first time driving anywhere on my own, it was late at night AND it started POURING.
I drove and I pulled over because I could have sworn my tire had just rolled off, got off only to see that my tire was very much there and now I was just soaking wet. Drove past a flipped-over car, I pulled over again in a very creepy-looking gas station, locked my doors, and cried, and asked myself “well what do I do?”
I was halfway and I had the choice to keep going or turn back, staying there was not an option.
I was determined to meet my boyfriend and going back was going to take just as much effort as getting to where I needed to go. So I drove and got caught IN THE WORST OF IT. I somehow made it to the San Antonio highway, I could not see anything other than the blurry lights of the cars in front and next to me. I thought THIS IS IT, this is how far I have gotten in life and I swear I let go of the wheel for a while as I cried.
The rain never cleared up, I just put my emergency lights on and kept driving at 15mph. Eventually, I made it off the highway and to the Pluckers where Alex and I were supposed to meet.
Since that day, I am no longer afraid of driving in the rain, or driving for that matter. That experience was not one that I would like to experience ever again, BUT if I had not experienced that I would STILL be driving around with a numbing fear that something bad was going to happen to me. The truth was I probably did not have a fear of driving, I didn’t trust myself to keep myself safe. The fear was there long before the rain, the rain amplified my fear and forced me into a situation where I needed to trust myself to take care of myself.
Your fears are there for you to conquer.
Your fears are your greatest lesson and overcoming them will bring you the greatest reward, your FREEDOM!
I now have more emotional fears that I am discovering are very deep seeded- even generational.
Have you heard of the “fear of success,” “the fear of failure,” working on those two at the moment.
When I get stuck in this fear, I remember it’s only there so I can overcome it and come back to my true self, and unlearn all that has taught me to be fearful. Feeling numb and paralyzed by your fear will literally keep you in the same place and stuck.
I hope this inspires you to ask yourself,
“What am I afraid of?” make a list of all the things you’re afraid of.
Your list could range from being afraid of spiders to being afraid of what others might think of you or an alien takeover.
Then ask yourself
“Since when do I feel this fear?”
“Is this my fear mine, or is this something that someone taught me to be fearful of?”
“In what scenario would I conquer my fear and how liberating would that be?”
There’s always something deeper to uncover behind your fear, once you find that truth hiding behind your fear, think it through, and rewrite your story, you will be FREE! & FEARLESS.
